Unleash Your Secrets..

For some, it is seems to be the easier task of holding things back rather than opening up emotions, having awkward conversations and unveiling the hidden demons within. TRUST ME, I've been there. But do you realize the repercussions you are facing without your immediate knowledge? This is where your every day emotions stem from, the anger, the rage, the hidden fears, the sadness, etc. Listen, it's going to be uncomfortable, it's not going to be easy, but you DO in FACT need to let these things out. It is better to be judged for who you truly are than who you aren't. I'd rather someone look at me like I am crazy for the thoughts spinning in my mind when I speak them aloud, rather than keeping silent, having awkward behaviors and saying dumb shit because I'm avoiding the truth.

With this step of letting out secrets, you must also learn to set your boundaries with people. You are at a vulnerable position opening yourself up, but do not allow others to beat you up in this process. This takes bravery and a lot of courage. I will not get completely personal, but I had this happen to me recently. I had someone I truly love and trust lend an offering hand to help someone in need who had hurt/scarred me earlier in my life. I sat down with said person and let them know my feelings on this, because the bond we have together is so much stronger than this other person seeking help. I had to fully disclose painful memories and relive a situation for this person to understand where I was coming from. I'm not saying they were wrong in supporting this other person, but if they continued to support them then I needed to distance myself from them. Once the information was all out on the table, the tables turned, the understanding that I needed was finally accepted and I was relieved. It was relieved because the information I had disclosed a long time ago wasn't the full story. When the full story was heard, the weight was lifted off of me, I now had understanding from this person and that was what I needed to lay this to rest finally. Tears were shed, hugs given and sorrow was expressed. I, in no way was seeking attention nor empathy at the secrets I had carried for so long. I was seeking an understanding as to why I carried such a displeased persona of someone that I will call a waste of a human being and I was finally heard by someone who needed to fully understand. It wasn't something that was just a slap on the wrist and once it was fully disclosed, we now have a better understanding. This is a reminder to stop living your life half understood. Just be you and if you don't know the real you, get crackin' because life happens way too fast.

I am full living proof that hiding things for decades deep inside only hurts yourself. Why choose to live in misery? And don't ever see yourself as a person that people will shut out, if that happens, shame on them for not being understanding and loyal to you. Just be your true self and people will love you more for it. I'm imperfectly perfect, coming from a past stressed out perfectionist and I'm 1000000% okay with that. I love that I'm not perfect, I'm human.

Let go of your secrets and face your biggest fears. Find people that you can open up to, whether it's a professional, your best friend, a fellow trauma survivor or a stranger who wants to listen to you.

Trust me on this one. I wouldn't be here today telling you this otherwise if I let the worst of my fears and past get to me.

Speak when you need to. SPEAK THE FUCK UP! No matter the circumstances, before you regret holding it back or worse you never have that opportunity to make your voice heard. I almost had that moment.

Be kind. Be Authentic. Always Choose Love.