Inner Self Awareness...

“If I could tell the world just one thing it would be that we’re all okay.” – Jewel

That exact line from the song “Hands,” has always sat with me deep in my soul.  We really are all okay, it mainly depends on your perception of how your life is, given whatever circumstances are at hand.  Running late to work and then sitting in a cluster of traffic for over an hour further making you late for work, your boss throws a ton of extra work your way because your co-worker decides to not show up, your wife/husband just isn’t hearing you clearly, your friends keep cancelling plans on you, your kids are constantly acting up, you fail an exam, you lose your job, etc.. you catch my drift, right?  These are all events and moments that we will always face in life, no matter who we are, where we are and what we are.  We aren’t always prepared for them either and it doesn’t matter how little the matter could be or whether it’s more taxing on you than it is to someone else.  There is one common denominator in all of them…YOU.

You are the driver in your fast this lane of life.  Life is going to keep “Happening for you and not to you.” – Tony Robbins What matters the most is how you handle everything that comes your way.  You can choose to be bitter, cold, hostile and angry or you can approach it from a different angle, with a clearer mind.  I am speaking from personal experience also, so I am not just making up a scenario here.  I’ve been thrown some fast spiraling bombs my way and not being open to catch them for a perfect touchdown this year, but where I am at with my inner wellbeing at peace, has helped me to not react to such moments where I normally would have lost my shit irrationally and shamefully.  Also, keep in mind how people are to you, says a lot about how they are to themselves.

We can choose to be mad at the world, mad at ones who have betrayed us, hating our circumstances, think we have been dealt the shittiest hand possible, or whatever you want to harp on and complain to everyone about…. OR we can look at everything that comes our way in a completely different perspective.  I will be the first to admit I had immediate angered responses, lashed out, said a lot of hurtful things, walked away when I knew I didn’t want to leave, and would really get myself into awful conundrums.  Then I’d spend time trying to rationalize my reactions and behaviors and they never added up, it was never warranted.  Until you deal with your own shit going on in your head, you’re never going to be at peace with yourself and it’s going to reflect onto others and the world in which you live in. 

How do you do this though?  You really need to sit and take a long hard look into yourself.  Sit, for as long as you need.  Compile some lists of bad habits, good qualities, things you’ve accomplished or would like to, etc. This is all about you.  Learn to figure out who you really are to the core.  During this process, you also will begin to learn to love and accept yourself more.  We live in a society that heavily pressures us to be so influenced by other people’s lives that we don’t realize how much of an influence our own lives are to ourselves and the direct people around us. 

I can’t tell you how touched I have been since I started blogging again and being completely vulnerable about my life to people and the responses that I get.  I have tears in my eyes when anyone reaches out to me.  Even if it’s to say they understand me a little more now or that they too have been dealing with similar issues.  It really has been so moving and helps to realize you are not alone.

Becoming more self-aware will determine what you project outwardly to the world.  People who feel like they have just been dealt a bad hand usually have bad attitudes, limiting views and a judgmental mind...you know them we all know them...take notice to how things never seem to make it on the upside for them.  Change your perspective, change your thoughts, change your reactions and change comes your way.  Sometimes bad breaks in life are the best occurrences to really wake us up and it really sucks, I know that it does.  I was on the ledge because I felt so consumed with “Why me? Why my life? Why can’t I be just like them? Why does my life suck? Why? Why? Why?” Sitting there beating yourself up over your life is only going to keep you on the same path and it leads to a lonely, miserable life filled of self-sabotaging and shitty behaviors.

Negative minds attract negativity.  Positive minds attract positivity.  If only everyone in this world could have a mind like Mr. Rogers, peace would be amongst us always, but this isn’t a Utopian society.  I’m not saying everyone must become a free spirit (although for some you would really benefit from it) or pick up some new religion or etc.  I’m simply stating that everything happening in your world is an exact response to how you are presenting yourself to the world.  Negative thoughts, being hard headed and stubborn towards others is going to hand you everything related to that on a silver platter.  Change your thoughts, get in touch with yourself and really learn what you are all about.  Once you do this, you can see yourself from the outside perspective of how everyone around you is perceiving you.  DO you like what you have been showing to everyone or could you use a little work?  Perfection doesn’t exist in this world, so don’t even try to reach for it. 

Keep this in mind though, remember that we may not like who we have been projecting out into the world.  Don’t beat yourself up!  This is okay, most people won’t ever be honest with you and say “Hey, you’re an asshole, I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”  Although, some people may and those are my kind of people, truth speakers.  You may see you’re an ugly person on the inside, no matter how pretty you are on the outside.  I wish death upon the person, my old self, that used to eat me up inside and made me so ugly on the outside.  Her and I have since parted ways.  This is going to be a process, but it’s going to be worth it. I can promise you that. 

When using numerology coordinated with your birthday, I have been in my soul-searching year, (which is super interesting!) and is coming to an end soon.  I can’t even express how much my life has changed in the matter of months.  This has taken extreme determination, hard work and the will to keep fighting because I know I wasn’t put on this earth to suffer.  Who I was earlier this year and previously, is not who I am today.  I changed my behaviors, my reactions, my thought processes, my responses, my overall outlook on myself and everyone around me.  I am not angry at the world, feeling like I am owed something for all of the shit that was thrown my way.  Everything has happened for a reason and it brought me to where I am today.  I am in a state of inner peace and I approach everything with a much calmer, rational approach.

I won’t lie and tell you that it’s going to be easy for others to accept the change in you either.  Just remember to keep focused on yourself and people will come around when they are ready to.  You must worry about yourself. You can’t control what others are going to do or say.  You only have control over yourself.  You must learn to accept this.  Take the time whenever you need it to think before you react to others.  Continue to work on yourself until it becomes a normal lifestyle for you and never give up.  Always take the time each day to dedicate to yourself and your self-awareness and you will be surprised of the outcomes.  Even if you only have 5 minutes to check back in to make sure you are on the right path, it’s still progress.   I have faith in us all that we are not meant to suffer while we are here in this life together. 

Don’t get too busy living that you forget to live.

We are all okay, just take the time to acknowledge that.

Be kind. Be Authentic. Always choose love.