Discover You..

I'm weird. I'm fun and I have a huge heart that I have finally stopped guarding. I have my quirks and my flaws. I'm so imperfect and I embrace it, I love it actually. I strive to be no one but me each and every day. I don't like to conform to societal norms, I like to be different. I'd actually rather spend time focused on myself and becoming the real me more than anything right now.

With that said, I have to say I am truly grateful and so blessed right now that I have recently accepted a new position as a RN and have never been happier. I had no idea that nurses could have a position like I do right now. I went from absolute chaos, literal insanity, a very high-stressed and anxiety induced environment, to a calm, organized and pleasant company. While, I may not be super busy and non-stop working (which I have become accustomed to a very long time ago) I thoroughly enjoy the quiet and peaceful environment that I currently work in. For anyone who knows me, this more than likely comes as a huge surprise. I'm used to high-stressed, fast paced and chaos. It has been challenging for me at times, because I am presented with a lot of downtime since I am a nurse on one of their newer projects. I have sat alone with my thoughts a lot and this used to be scary for me, this is where the negative thoughts would normally flow, which were terrifying at times. But I realized something different has been happening to me recently. My thoughts have me at peace, I'm relaxed, in a zen mainly. I write a lot, whether it's random thoughts, ideas for blog posts, journaling or short excerpts which I may turn into something published one day. I have never sat so silent with myself, my thoughts and just really let everything flow out and be at peace with myself. I've written quite a few things that have really run deep, brought me to tears, but I know it's okay, because it's a safe place. I also started doodling one day and found out I am pretty good at creating mandalas, very detailed ones I might add. Now I have a stack of mandalas that I have to put to good use in some way. It's upsetting but at the same time amazing, that I had to really remove myself from situations to really discover this about myself. I am at peace with myself inside finally. I don't know how long it took me to get here or to say that, but I am comfortable with the lonely thoughts and moments. I've really learned so much about myself in that time. You can do this too.

Discovering you, means to really get uncomfortable with yourself, break your old habits and really go where your heart and mind lead you. A lot of people are very uncomfortable being by themselves or doing things by themselves. I've gone to places by myself recently because why not? You want to see a show, a concert, a site, event, try a new activity, travel, etc? It's hard to make plans with people or even talk someone into trying something new with you, so why not go alone. There's plenty of people out there who do things by themselves, whether they're single, in relationships, married or their friends aren't around. Stop holding YOU back because someone else doesn't want to do something with you.

Just really get uncomfortable with yourself. What do you do for you that makes you happy? Are you always just going along with people doing things they want to do? Do you play an instrument that you haven't played in decades? Do you want to learn something new? Try new foods, new restaurants, etc? Get going and get living!

Be Kind. Be Authentic. Always Choose Love.